Journey to the bikini

So here we go, we’re going to talk about losing weight. Ugh, I know. Our society is extremely obsessed with weight, diet and bikini’s. I know I’m not alone when I say I think about weight loss almost hourly. It’s insane.

I have basically been overweight/chubby my entire life, and continue to struggle with it. From when I was a child till about age 20 I was pretty overweight, probably obese. I grew up on large portions and not much activity as a child. I’ve always been a big eater. When I was a child, as young as a toddler, I used to sit in the fridge and eat pickles. Food has always been a close friend, a life partner if you will. I had thought about losing weight for years, and would kind of try, but was never really ready for it.

In January 2008 I decided I was done. Done with being fat. Done with feeling guilty about my weight. Done with weight getting in the way of my life. I was young and I just wanted to experience a different life, one where I would have confidence and feel good. By June I had lost about 50lbs from my highest weight of 260lbs. Over that summer and fall I continued on Weight Watchers, with my lowest weight being about 60lbs lighter then my largest.

Losing that much weight is one hell of a transition to go through, and gaining some back fills me with ungodly amounts of Catholic guilt. So here I am, still substantially lighter and more fit then I once was but I’m not where I need to be yet. The past year has been a daily struggle to lose weight, knowing what I need to do, but being tempted by my life long friend, food. I have slowly been coming down from my holiday chunk, working out regularly, and trying to understand my eating patterns. I’m making daily goals, and weekly goals for myself, to help stay on track. For me, I have to stay accountable and picture how great it would feel to wear a bikini. My weight watchers leader always reminds us that this isn’t just about losing weight but about changing our lives and being empowered by our health. It’s a journey, and maybe I won’t make it into that bikini for a few summers, but if I hold myself accountable I can be in that bikini by mid-summer.

Me at my heaviest. (not the best picture)

Me at close to my lightest.

So, for those of you out there that know my experiences, stick to it, and know that taking it day-by-day is the way to stay on track. Losing weight may be one of the most challenging life experiences many of us will face, but the journey continues to be worth it. So cheers to your health.

-Michelle

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